Queer Joy in Conversation: The Bailar Family

Schuyler Bailar, an activist, entrepreneur, and swimmer who made history as the first transgender man to openly compete in Division I swimming, sits down with parents Terry Hong and Gregor Bailar in a conversation about queer advocacy, identity, and growth.

While in college, he hesitated to call himself an advocate, describing himself instead as a storyteller — someone who shared his experiences with the hope that others might grant themselves permission to be who they are. What began as speaking from his own truth slowly crystallized into advocacy, a shift his parents traced back to his willingness to embrace “agency.” As his father notes, true advocacy grows from courage — the courage to claim one’s agency, whether in battling an eating disorder or remaining on the swim team, and then to make that courage visible to others. Vulnerability, when shared publicly, becomes its own form of leadership, and this is what Schuyler’s parents are most proud of. Family, too, has always been a grounding force.

For the Bailars, the value of family rests not in clinging to what has always been, but in updating, growing, and still holding fast to love. Looking back, Schuyler is especially grateful for patience — patience from his parents as he invited them into his journey. At home, he was never “too much,” never told to scale back who he was, and this safety made it possible to be open about what he needed. Many young people he’s met since have felt that some core part of themselves was “not enough,” but Schuyler recognizes the rare gift of a family environment where even the complexities of identity were met with grounding and affirmation.

The Bailars acknowledge the journey has not been without its fumbles, surprises, and even public scrutiny, particularly when Schuyler’s story drew media attention. Yet through it all, their family’s foundation — love, patience, and the courage to embrace change — has remained constant.

🌈 Queer Joy In Conversation invites audiences to sit in on intimate, interpersonal interviews with folks from the Korean American queer and trans community as they reflect upon the unique and shared journeys of finding queer joy in their lives. The second part to KAS’ Queer Joy series, this project aims to highlight the diverse, dynamic, and intersecting identities of the Korean American community; destigmatizing conversations around sexuality and gender. ❤️

Funding for this special Legacy Project series was made possible by The Reva and David Logan Foundation.