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Love Poem

All my life I thought it was me
I thought it was I who had suffered
but I see clearly now
It was you
You were the one that suffered
Bone marrow deep
You suffered

The poverty
The beatings
The paranoia
The feeling of
choice-less-ness

You wanted better for me
You said I was smart
You wanted me to have a chance
So you sent me away
on that big steel bird

Regret descended upon your heart
the moment
the bird took flight

Alone
I went
To the world of unknowns
I still cry for that little girl
Your baby
She must’ve been scared
Out of her mind
Scared

She needed you
She needed her sister
Crying “unni, unni” in her new strange home

Worlds apart, we are

Growing up without you
I wondered if you wondered

My hands
were they your hands
My face
how I hated my face.
How I needed you to tell me
as all mothers should
That you thought I was the prettiest girl
in the world
That above all else
what matters most is inner beauty

As I struggled with belonging
and self love
You struggled to survive
being divorced
being without a home
being separated
for years
from all of your children

How did you do it umma?
How did you find the courage to go on
each day?
How did you keep your faith
when you suffered so much?

I struggle now
with some guilt
that your life was so
so
hard

I was righteously selfish
for so many years
as the abandoned one
I don’t dismiss my feelings
They were valid
I was abandoned
And it hurts

But I see now
that I am not the only one in this story
More than anything
this is your story
Your story
as a Woman
as a Mother
This is your story
of Courage
Your story of Strength
Your story of Faith

I am in awe of you
I grieve the life we were not able to have together
For you
and for me
I grieve

With all my heart
Umma
I love you.

 

 

Love Poem

by Julie Young

All my life I thought it was me

I thought it was I who had suffered

but I see clearly now

It was you

You were the one that suffered

Bone marrow deep

You suffered

The poverty

The beatings

The paranoia

The feeling of

choice-less-ness

You wanted better for me

You said I was smart

You wanted me to have a chance

So you sent me away

on that big steel bird

Regret descended upon your heart

the moment

the bird took flight

Alone

I went

To the world of unknowns

I still cry for that little girl

Your baby

She must’ve been scared

Out of her mind

Scared

She needed you

She needed her sister

Crying “unni, unni” in her new strange home

Worlds apart, we are

Growing up without you

I wondered if you wondered

My hands

were they your hands

My face

how I hated my face.

How I needed you to tell me

as all mothers should

That you thought I was the prettiest girl

in the world

That above all else

what matters most is inner beauty

As I struggled with belonging

and self love

You struggled to survive

being divorced

being without a home

being separated

for years

from all of your children

How did you do it umma?

How did you find the courage to go on

each day?

How did you keep your faith

when you suffered so much?

I struggle now

with some guilt

that your life was so

so

hard

I was righteously selfish

for so many years

as the abandoned one

I don’t dismiss my feelings

They were valid

I was abandoned

And it hurts

But I see now

that I am not the only one in this story

More than anything

this is your story

Your story

as a Woman

as a Mother

This is your story

of Courage

Your story of Strength

Your story of Faith

I am in awe of you

I grieve the life we were not able to have together

For you

and for me

I grieve

With all my heart

Umma

I love you.

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