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가까이 있어도 멀리 있어도 Even If You’re Near. Even If You’re Far Away.

 
Judy Park
Minneapolis, MN
 

 

아빠 곁에 떠난지 벌써 4년이다.
It’s already been 4 years since I left your side, Dad.

집에 전화하면 전화를 잘 받는 우리 아빠
You used to answer the home phone every time I called

걱정되서 스마트폰을 받았는데 전화를 잘 안받네요
Still, we were worried for you so you received a smartphone but now you don’t pick up.

“아빠가 아직 몰라. 집에 잘 놔두고 그래…걱정하게 해서 아빠 미안해…”
“I’m still not used to this (smartphone). I forget and leave it at home. Sorry for making you worry…”

걱정되서. 연락이 안되서.. 답답해서 화가 났지만..참았어.
아니…노력만 했지
I was worried. My frustrations turned to anger because you weren’t picking up but I held it in. No, (who am I kidding) I only tried to hold it in.

 

가까이 있어도 멀리 있어도
Even if you’re near. Even if you’re far away

걱정 한다.
I am worried.

 

“아빠, 코로나바이러스 들어봤지? 이거 정말 위험해. 밖에 나가면 안된다. 알지? 아빠는 나이가 있어서 한번 걸리면 회복하기 힘들어”
“Dad, you heard about Coronavirus, right? This is really serious. You shouldn’t leave the house. You’re aware, right? If you catch the virus it’ll be harder for you to recover because of your age, Dad.”

“코로나바이러스는 들어봤는데 밖에 못 나가? 그 정도야?”
“I’ve heard of Coronavirus but… I can’t go out? It’s that bad??”

미치겠다.
OMG..Are you serious?

아빠, 뉴스 안봐? 케이블 방송 설치해 줬는데, 안봐?
“We installed cable for you. Are you not watching the news?”

“아빠는 그..유투브인가? 그걸 열심히 보지. 설교도 보고, 한국 뉴스도 보고…잘 보고있어.”
“I’ve been diligently watching that You..YouTube? I’m able to watch sermons and stay up to date with the news in Korea.”

내가 괜히 설치했나? 심심하지 말라고 했는데. 미국 뉴스를 안보고 한국방송만 보내. 후회를 해야하나?
짜증난다.
Did I install that for nothing? I did it because I didn’t want him to be bored but he’s only watching Korean shows. Should I be regretting..this sucks.

 

가까이 있어도 멀리 있어도
Even if you’re near. Even if you’re far away

미안하다
I am sorry.

 

잘 지켜주지 못하고. 결혼을 한후, 이사를 간뒤, 난 더이상 식사도 잘 챙겨주지 못하는 딸이다.
아빠 몸 조심하시고. 필요한것 있으면 부담갖지 말고 전화해. 제발…
I’m unable to care for you. After I got married and now that we’ve moved, I can’t even prepare your meals like I used to. Dad, please take care of your health. If you ever need anything at any time, don’t feel bad to call me. Please….

 

가까이 있어도 멀리 있어도
Even if you’re near. Even if you’re far away

사랑한다.
I love you.

 


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